This new haircut has me in a new state of mind. I am appreciating myself much more than before. Instead of the constant self criticsms, I give myself more slack. This comfort zone... I am trying to completely break free from... It requires effort on my part. What am I so afraid of? I Read this book called "Change your Thinking Change Your Life" by Brian Tracy. Its is a very empowering book. I recommend it to ANYONE. As I was reading, I just felt a surge of energy rush through me. I felt like my eyes were open wider than before. Its a WONDERFUL feeling. I'll carry it around with me for inspiration when I need it. I want to give it to my mother because she has been feeling really down lately, and ironically she recommended the book to me. I think she needs to tap on her inspirational resources again. I'll give it to her.
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Here... Some more!
As promised, here are some more pictures of my new cut. i love it. Of course my regimen has now changed, I co-wash my hair EVERYDAY now. Co-wash is a term that means conditioner wash. Instead of using regular shampoo, I use the cheap conditioner's such as V05 or Suave and it keeps my hair nice and moist instead of dry. If you look at it, conditioners have suds, so it gets the hair clean. Smells good as well. I love the wash and go look so, I wash my hair everyday. I only comb my hair when I am washing my hair. I use S-curl to moisturize and fantasia aloe gel to the curlies a nice hold. I deep condition my hair once a week. My natural hair loves moisture, so I use a light protein conditioner such as LeKair's cholesterol conditioner. I absolutely love my natural hair and I don't quite know what my hair texture is so lets just say i'm a 4a/b. Its not the kinkiest texture there, but from the 4a's I have seen, I can conclude that i am not a 4a. My hair goal is BSL stretched and my ultimate goal is BSL UNSTRETCHED. I LOVE big hair and I am just too happy to be nappy! I am gonna applaud TKeyah Crystal Keymah for her beautiful natural hair and a gorgeous braidout! I can't wait....
The REAL Me
I dedicate this post and lyrics to myself and to others who cannot and understand and accept this change. You can Like it, Love it, or Hate it. Cuz I LOVE it. I never thought I would feel this good, this empowered, this feminine. I was scared because I thought I wouldn't look right. But I look and feel great. Thats the thing with the Big Chop, many come to realize, "hey I look better than I thought!" you not not only surpass your image of how far your natural beauty can go, you also feel this beauty on the inside. Not your normal standard of beauty huh? Thats what I love MOST about it. I'm not here to live up to other peoples standards. I live up to MINE and what god gave me. This is me... take it, or leave it. If you think less of me because I cut my hair, you weren't that important anyway. Re-evaluate your frame of mind and love yourself. PEACE.
Take Me As I Am
[Verse 1:]
She's been down and out
She's been wrote about
She's been talked about, constantly
She's been up and down
She's been pushed around
But they held her down, NYC
She has no regrets
She accepts the past
All these things they
helped make to make she
She's been lost and found
And she's still around
There's a reason for everything
You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
But I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs
Jus so you can feel me.
so you can get the real me
[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
[Verse 2:]
Now she's older now
Yes, she's wiser now
Can't disguise her now
She don't need
No one tellin her
What to do and say
No one tellin her
Who to be
She's on solid ground
She's been lost and found
Now, she answers to G-O-D
And she's confident
This is not the end
Ask me how I know
Cause she is me.
You know I've been holdin on.
Try to make me weak,
But I still stay strong.
Put my life all up in these songs
Jus so you can feel me.
so you can get the real me
[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
[Bridge: 2x]
So it's all or nothing at all,
All or nothing at all
Don't you know I can only be me.
(I can only be me, yeah)
[Chorus:]
So take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all.
Take me as I am.
Take me as I am.
Said it's all or nothing at all
Said it's all or nothing at all
Just take me as I am,
or have nothing at all. (This is me)
Just take me as I am, (take me as i am)
or have nothing at all.
Just take me as I am, (take me as i am)
or have nothing, nothing at all.
Take me as I am.
BIG CHOP!!!!!!
I did the big chop! July 7th 2008. It looks soooo good and I feel so free! Now I know what everyone was talking about. I have never felt sexier and thats weird lol Au naturale! Excuse my excitement I just feel so good. I have no pics but I will have pics up tomorrow hopefully. I am now officially Nubian Princess :) Hubby loves it and I got so many compliments. I got a bit of negativity but, it does not phase me one bit because shoooooot i know I look good! You dont have to like it, but guess what? I LOVE IT! :-P The natural journey begins now.
Sorry I havent written in awhile I have been hard at work with this internship and I love it as well. I will keep up the blog but not as often (everyday) as I would like to. But keep your eyes open for the next post! It will be full of pictures.
Santogold--- Definitely feeling her
I guess I am getting tired of the route that hip hop has taken nowadays and Im slowly abandoning it LOL no... really. Look Im tired of the SOS!!!!!!!!!!! Shake that ass, Superman that ho, Bat man that ho, Robo cop that ho, take it off, I got jewels, MONEY CASH HOES (even though I love that song), Im a pimp, Im a boss, Im the don... Just shut the f--- up already sh--! Anyway... got my blood pressure boiling... Lawd. Its too commercial, rappers constantly selling out on us and aint talking about a damn thing lately. I listen to my neo soul for meaning and also Ive been dusting off my moms tunes, like the oldies songs like "To be Real!!!!!!!!!" You know... that boogie era lol Well I find meaning in older music than in the crap these kids are listening to nowadays................. O..... M.....G... Im am maturing... I sound like my mom... my grandmother.... goodness.... shoot its true tho! LOL But anyone who knows me knows that Im into weird sounding catchy music. Big fan of Daft Punk, MIA, Some rock (dont feel like naming) and lately... I have been feeling this new artist. Santogold... Definitely a genre bender like MIA, I just dont know what classification to put them in and I love that about them. Santogold is from Brooklyn... where Im from. But she sound unlike any Brooklyn artist Ive ever heard of, hell American artist at that. I swore she was from the UK. But its good to see her breaking stereotypes of all kinds. I appreciate her music and I will be choreographing to her this fall.
I Choose me...
I guess Im getting to learn myself alot better for the 08. Maybe its the year of self discovery. I am getting to learn myself better and and coming to terms with accepting who I am. I am an INFP. The idealist, the visionary. The most creative. There are flaws that come with my personality ... What? I wouldnt want to hear that before lol Criticism.. I hate it. But I realize that it helps you grow. Its not to tear someone apart. I guess I have used criticism in the wrong way all these years other than to improve my dance. I have to embrace it and face it. Stop living in this imaginary world where there is this perfect world even though thats a part of me... its not the truth. What else... It says that I hate conflict. Which I do, but I have been slowly realizing that no conflict is unhealthy, too much is unhealthy. But you have to have some to live in this world. I have definitely getting better at speaking my mind when I am not feeling something. So without realizing it, I have been working on it :) The criticism thing is the thing I need to embrace more and dammit... I just need to become more aware of my surroundings and how others perceive me because yes, I can be oblivious. It also says that I may come off as wierd to other... BUT I LIKE THAT!!!!!!! Call me weird, call me an individualist I love it. As long as Im not the dreaded...... normal. Trends suck. I do have my own way of doing things. I dont trust easily, but when its gained... I am one of the most loyal person. I love things that society may not be able to understand. I love the underdog. I embrace them whole heartedly. Me, myself... I consider myself an underdog in some cases. I wanted a tattoo that said "Mis-Understood" or "I love Underdogs" LOL Corny I know. I'll still get something like that but I'll put more thought into it before I permanently put it on my body. I worry too much as well. That has to stop. Worry ages you. Worry causes stress and stress causes a variety of sicknesses. Carefree is what I want to be. I will. Im working on it. I do love who I am though. I just want to be the INFP at its greatest potential such as greats like Mother Teresa, Audrey Hepburn, Mr Rogers, Amy Tan, William Shakespeare, Princess Diana, Helen Keller, Dick Clark, Fred Savage, and even Mary mother of Jesus! LOL Thats bugged out. Well 08 has been a bit of a struggle, but hey... Im just learning how to sail my ship right? LOL
Great News!
I GOT THE INTERNSHIP!!! AAAAHHHH!!!!! OMG I AM ON CLOUD 9 RIGHT NOW!!! THE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS HELPED SO MUCH! THANK YOU LORD!!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!
